Not Just A Dream

Today I learned a lot about myself. I learned that while dreams are amazing, my life is not safe in there. Because I dream too much. Life should not be only about dreaming. Abraham Lincoln was not just about the dream; he was about the freedom. I am not just about the vision, I am about the movement. If my life ever came down to painting dreams out on paper or writing the words of my future could-be's then I have failed miserably. A dream brings about vision but action brings out accomplishment. A dream will paint a picture but action will bring out a life. I can no longer day dream on the things placed in my heart. Because I have been holding back freedom from the individuals that are desperate for me to speak. The ones who wish someone would move into their life. My whole life has been marked by standing for human life. But I am tired of just standing, I want to move for human life. I have watched the hundreds and thousands walk by and I want no longer to stand by and let them die. I am here to experience heaven on earth and I want as many people as possible to experience it with me. Dreaming is fiction and movement is reality. If you have a plan and a destiny that God has placed over your life. don't dream about it. You will waste many days dreaming of something that needs to be done. We are a vapor. I want my vapor to touch as many lives as possible. I've wasted too many years with this passion and fire being kindled just for show. It is such a time as this.

Worship Is Just Love

I've learned--not even to say I've fully learned this--that worship is not as complex as we make it. It's not the certain way we hold our hands or how we sing the words. Whether we're screaming or softly whispering our song. God hears us. And he's standing there right next to us. Laughing at how joyful it makes him to hear our voices. That we want to sing to him. We don't have to sing a certain way. We don't have to know exactly what we want to say to God and make sure it sounds just as good as the worship song's words. Worship is just love. Our love is messy and we sometimes just spit out words. But he wants to hear them. Our love is up and down and not every day is a walk in the park. But he wants to know how you feel. Our love is impatient, emotional and it doesn't always know what it wants. But he wants to take it all from us. Because he is the God of listening, feeling our pain, and taking it all away to give us his voice. His plan. His intimate time with us. The answer to our worship; his love. We give our love to him, imperfect and human, and he gives us his love, perfect and righteous. He knows everything about us and we don't have to build ourselves up to be more holy in the time of worship. He wants us just the way we are.

Plucked From the Light, Into the Dark

I've soaked up my light. I've dug my roots into my good soil. I've been molded into a vessel of joy, love, and light. And now it's time to stretch my mold. I've enjoyed the encouragement and pampered life of a preparing heart. But now it's time to get dirt underneath my fingernails. I was never once called to a comfortable life of becoming a fireworks show. I'd much rather be a small lit candle that lasts through the night than a combustable flare that is shrouded by darkness in seconds. The darkness cannot put out the light, it can only make the light brighter.
I live just outside of a city that is the least likely to be a city on a hill. Below sea level, but figuratively it is full of darkness. And I am 100% blessed to be here. To be just a small candle of the sea of candles flooding this area. We have another hit coming in a few days that could flush out some light. However as the floods are rising, the lights are getting brighter. Some blow out, but as one blows out, even more are added in its place. What is the point of being a candle in a room that is already lit? I have darkness just outside my door. I begged to put in that darkness. I finally was put there, and my flame is already wavering. It's being spit on and trampled. It's in a muggy environment. It's not used to this. But it will not go out. Because my light is not for show. It is brighten up the darkness, to draw people closer, and to lead them to the person who's really holding the candle.

Surrender Becoming A Song

Well, this season has been the absolute hardest, most challenging, mind blowing, uncomfortable, God seeking season ever. I look back on who I was before and can't begin to fathom how I am where I am. Being put in my own type of ministry, with the total control and honor given to the Lord. It is different and crazy at some points. I'm placed in plenty different areas of ministry that it has been challenging to put my wholeness into each area; in God's timing and calling. But thank God ministry isn't categorized it's unified. I'm stepping into a season of complete change, combining my season of growth and submission with total surrender. Surrender brings thoughts of loneliness. Surrendering is giving your all, faith being your stronghold. You cannot surrender and come back shortly after and beg for the values, people, dreams, and goals that you gave up. Submission is a daily practice, but surrendering is a life given up with no turning back. You can run away from submission but not from surrender. I wonder every day if I will ever have the strength to surrender. I hand Him piece by piece of my life and still find that he wants more. Not in a demanding way. But in a way to where He is showing me it will be so much more rewarding if I hand everything over now. Surrender is not a solo act of obedience. It's a vocalist beginning the song, flowing the song to the Partner, and beginning the lovely duet that will fill the ears of all that hear. Alone a voice is heard, but combined a duet becomes a choir, impressing a song into hearts.

Dance With Me

Where you are at right now is where He wants you. In His arms, dancing with him. We do not always have to move forward. We don't have to look beyond our present to see our future. Jesus can tell us our future, and by all means want you to pursue it as well. But to get to the then you have to understand, live in, and believe in the now. You can't believe in the future without being fully supportive and believing what is going on in your life now. There is no fast forward button. God longs to speak to you and even more to just embrace you. To dance with you. To hold you for a minute, tell you you're beautiful and he's absolutely crazy about you. Take your chains of the moment and throw them to the floor. Twirl you around until you're laughing hysterically. Pour his grace and new mercies out onto you. He is in your present, he is in your presence. You are in his presence constantly and he just wants to dance with you. He wants to hear you worship him and he wants to tell you your worth. Hold you in his arms until all of your mess is squeezed out of you. Until you fall to your knees in awe and adoration of just him dancing with you. Think about it, the Lord of the heavens wants to stop all of your life for a moment and dance with you. To interrupt your constant motion and schedule. Not to stop you from doing his will or living life, but to shower his love on you and catapult you into your next steps. Your steps can be a path and direction, but they can also be a dance.

"It's not the provision I needed, it's the provider."

We practically beg God for improvement in our lives. Whether it's in our nation or in the small circle of our friends, we want God to rain down. Sometimes we don't even realize how desperate we are. We are longing for attention from God. We cry out to God for change. We beg for salvation, freedom, cleansing, love, a new heart, to break our hearts for what breaks His. And our God is so good, so purely and selflessly good, that he gave it all to us through his son Jesus. He gives us what we ask for. He gives us an abundance. We are given light and healing. And when it is given to us, we keep walking. We keep living our normal, comfortable lives. Day by day wondering when God will bless us next. Cry out day to day. We keep moving and we wonder why we move in a straight line. We pray for provision and are thankful for all God does for us. But when do our lives truly change? When does the presence of God become thick and tangible in our lives? There is provision because of the greatness of God and we give him praise and worship him. But we don't glorify him. Glorifying means to treat as more splendid and excellent than would normally be considered. People normally praise God because they are thankful for the provision in their lives. But to glorify God is to honor and to worship with every fiber of being, holding nothing back, unashamed of the person you are in Christ, and thanking God not for provision but that he is the provider.
I've wanted provision but only for a fresh burst of life. I wanted to see the glory of God but only to see it. To entertain my future. I worship God and hold back because I am ashamed of how I cannot fully serve God. I receive with hardly any thankfulness the things God has given me, the way he has completely transformed my life. I take what he gives me and keep walking. The Lord wouldn't send an anointing if he wasn't looking for someone. He wouldn't give you everything he's given you if you didn't have a purpose. You are a purpose. He is inviting us into a divine relationship that was never meant to be one way. Not just for salvation but for a savior. Not just for forgiveness but for a forgiver. Not just for peace but for the peace maker. Not just for redemption for a redeemer. Not just for love but a lover. For the author of life. An abundance of breath. An inspiration.

After Your Heart

It's easy to neglect God. I will sometimes run straight to the components instead. I'll worship until my heart wants to give out, receive encouragement and council, anything. I can handle leadership, mission trips, ministry, worship, and even intercession but I sometimes cannot handle having a conversation with the person who these things all revolve around. I run over God with the things that are like him. I can easily fill in the empty spaces in my life with these things. But sometimes I can't fill my empty heart with the actual person. The actual presence that redeems all lost hearts. Sometimes it's because I'm afraid. Sometimes it's because I'm distracted. Sometimes I'm ashamed. And sometimes I feel hopeless which is crazy because that's the reason he came. They all are reasons. And here I am, worrying about such small problems and there you are ready to bring me peace. When I mess up, there you are ready to bring forgiveness. When I neglect you and finally come back to you in repentance, there you are waiting with love and compassion. Here I am, a human, and there you are, a God, who allows me to become like his Son. I want to be after your heart, not just the things produced from your goodness.